Attachment

RELATIONSHIPS CAN BE CHALLENGING: FIGURING OUT WHAT YOU WANT, DEALING WITH DATING HURTLES, NAVIGATING THE BEGINNING/END OF A RELATIONSHIP, AND FIGURING OUT HOW TO BE YOURSELF ALONG THE WAY. LEARN HOW TO MANAGE IT WITH CONFIDENCE.

How do we learn how to be in a relationship?

We are bombarded with the message that being in a relationship is amazing through countless love songs and social media posts. However, what does it mean to be in a relationship? How do we learn how to behave in a relationship? What factors determine who we are attracted to? Why do we notice patterns in how we choose our partners and behave in a relationship?

Attachment Theory is a model that helps us understand how our upbringing creates the framework for what ‘normal’ behaviors in a relationship looks like. Our early relationship with our caregivers, or lack thereof, sets the stage for how we form adult relationships. Our attachment style is the particular set of ways we behave and think in a relationship. Learn more here. Understanding your attachment style can help you gain more awareness of how your upbringing has shaped who you are and help you to be more in control of how you show up in your relationships.

The 4 Attachment Styles

  • Secure

    Adults who are securely attached are dually comfortable alone and in close relationships. They can trust others, better able to manage their emotions, and are effective at communication and conflict resolution skills.

  • Anxious/Preoccupied

    Adults with an anxious attachment style feel uncomfortable being alone, which can lead to a fear of rejection/abandonment, people-pleasing behaviors, and a constant need for reassurance from their loved ones.

  • Avoidant/Dismissive

    Adults with an avoidant attachment style have difficulty trusting others. They are heavily independent, highly value alone time, and can be dismissive to avoid emotional intimacy because it is too overwhelming.

  • Disorganized/Fearful-Avoidant

    Adults with a disorganized attachment style show both anxious and avoidant patterns. They are fearful of being alone, but also fear intimacy. Adults who are disorganized act hot and cold and show contradictory behaviors.

You can decide how you want to show up in your relationships.